Preparing for the Future, With Life's Antique Possessions

Once my two kids were off to college, I thought it was finally my turn to have the freedom I'd wished for. But then, like 75 million other baby boomers, I received a phone call challenging me for the next ten years. My aging parents needed me, and I found myself "stuck in the middle" of juggling the needs of family, my career, and now my elderly parents.

I now know firsthand the challenges of being a caregiver and have sought to learn all that I can about the subject. Through my journey and interviewing of over 200 health care professionals and caregivers, you could consider me now an eldercare expert.

Nationally speaking and sharing my story has enabled me to hear the same consistent universal themes when it comes to caregiving. Some of the tips below might just help you become a better caregiver and understand the personal struggle elderly people experience through this transition in life as well. My commentary is frequently featured by local and national media organizations including CNN, NPR, NBC, the "Wall Street Journal" and "USA Today".

Don't Wait For the Crisis
Most families wait until there is a crisis before getting organized.

3 Generations of Preparedness
Have the tough conversations sooner than later with our aging parents and adult children. The adult children will then be able to share those same conversations and wishes with their own children. All three generations will understand the essential medical and financial papers, end-of-life discussions, and ideas about disbursement of possessions that will alleviate family conflict.

Money
It's odd how often the family finances can disrupt even the best of families. Settle the monetary issues before a crisis occurs, and gift happiness to all three generations. An astounding statistic is that 70% of adult children have never talked with aging parents about finances.

Home Improvements
In order to help make everyday tasks more accessible and prevent falls, home improvements may be in order. Be proactive instead of reactive makes situations less stressful. Part of this home improvement process might be to pack up, disburse, or donate excess materials. Keep communication open when dealing with elderly possessions.

Falling on One Child
Usually the caretaking falls on one child. This can create a lot of tension between siblings, and the caregiving can get filled with a lot of emotion. Family conflict can then come into play when dealing with the disbursement of possessions as well.

Whether presenting teleseminars to large insurance corporations, or giving keynote speeches, I end with a challenge to all caregivers. The flight attendant stands at the front of the crowded airplane and addresses everyone. "Remember to put on your oxygen mask before helping those people around you." Care for yourself first, so that you can care for others. And remember, the greatest gift you can give to your children is to be proactive in getting your affairs in order, NOW.

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