When Your Daughter-In-Law Won't Even Talk To You - A Tip To Start Breaking Down The Barrier

A quick story -

Rhonda's daughter-in-law hasn't spoken to her in several years. Whenever Rhonda tries to talk with her, her daughter-in-law seems to avoid Rhonda's emails and phone calls. At this point Rhonda is not sure what to do. She's not even sure what happened - why their interactions have stopped. She just feels her relationship with her daughter-in-law is not fixable, her son is pulling away, and any hope of developing a relationship with her grandchildren is slipping away day by day.

This is one of the biggest nightmares a mother-in-law can experience. It is one of the most helpless feelings ever. You're not sure what you've done and your daughter-in-law won't tell you. Or, maybe you do know what you said or did, but you don't know what to do to make things better. No matter what you do it doesn't seem to make a difference. Regardless of the circumstances, it still feels the same - helpless. Most of us usually just give up because we: 1.) don't know what to do and 2.) it's too painful to keep trying.

Here is a tip on how to start melting the ice so to speak. Because if you think about it, something has happened. Some how, some way, this other person feels you have done something to them - hurt them, angered them, disrespected them, or whatever to the point that they do not want to be around you. And if you only knew, maybe you could fix it. But they're not telling you. Or, if they'd only talk to you, maybe you could find a way to clear the air.

TIP:

Write letters to this person:

• Start off with a letter showing them why you appreciate them. It does not have to be long, but it does need to be about them - not about you.
• Another letter can be about why they matter to you.
• And keep doing this so you let them know how you truly feel about them - how important they are to you.
• Eventually write them a letter asking them what you may have done that hurt them so much. When you write this letter it needs to really be free of any "attitude." You want to write it from a place of really wanting to know so you can "fix" things if possible. And if they reply, listen to what they are saying. It doesn't matter who's right or wrong, what matters is how can we fix this. (getting defensive will end any hope of making things better).

Often times these "things" that come between us are misunderstandings or misperceptions. And once we know what they are we can clear them up and start repairing the damage.

Also - this is often a really long process. When someone feels slighted, hurt it can take a long time to heal, and the longer it has gone on, the longer it will take. So, be patient and don't give up.

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