One Simple Way to Increase Your Presence for an Elderly Parent

When my son was a small boy, I gave him a copy of Love You Forever. The story is about how life roles reverse and children find themselves filling the role of a parent for a parent. My son was not fond of the story, so we did not read it often, yet the story is one of significant importance because every child of an aging parent, loving or other wise, finds himself in exactly the situation described in Love You Forever.

Of course, it is easier to respond to caring for an aging parent when said parent was loving. In fact, I consider it an honor and privilege to help my aging parents whenever they call upon me. I have great admiration for friends who care for less-loving parents in a kind and supportive manner simply because it is the right thing to do.

Lately I have been thinking about how I can increase my presence in the lives of my parents when due to business I am unable to drop in to visit often. In doing so, I decided to adopt a practice of my mother's. It is one I have employed with my own children and husband on occasion.

It is relatively easy to increase one's presence by leaving notes of affection in all manner of locations. You can tuck a note under a pillow, slip it into a drawer or between the pages of a book, preferably one presently being read. A bible is a pretty good choice.

For a more dramatic version purchase a bundle of post it notes, fill them out with various jokes or drawings or loving words or apply lipstick and kiss every piece of paper then stick them all over the bathroom mirror or bedroom closet door so that when a parent entered the room there would be notes plastered everywhere!

Now if a parent happens to be tidy the effort could be perceived as making a mess, but I think if one approaches the practice correctly, this could, in fact, become a source of delight and laughter. So, I will be conducting the dramatic version of my idea next week and will report back on the response.

In the meanwhile, I would love to know if you have thought to do anything similar.

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